1 00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:40,605 I was sheriff of this county when I was 25. 2 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:44,174 Hard to believe. 3 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,829 Grandfather was a sheriff. Father, too. 4 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,700 Ranchers all. 5 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,834 Working the land through times flush and fallow. 6 00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:58,406 There's a natural order to things. 7 00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,886 We know it in our bones. 8 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:03,498 Jesus was a man, not some bearded lady. 9 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:05,456 And just as water flows downhill, 10 00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:08,329 a husband is head of his household. 11 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:11,375 Under him, the woman abides. 12 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,204 She holds her virtue close 13 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:17,425 until that matrimonial threshold is crossed, 14 00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:18,948 and then she opens to him, 15 00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:21,255 as the flower opens to the sun. 16 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,560 And in exchange, 17 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,389 the man shelters and protects his female, 18 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:28,218 as the sword has its sheath. 19 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:30,829 Okay, but what I'm saying is, you... 20 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:35,921 No. He only raises his hand to her 21 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,880 when she forgets her place and acts the man. 22 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,492 And-and then only for instruction, 23 00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:45,453 never taking any pleasure or satisfaction from the task. 24 00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:47,237 Whereas you, son, 25 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:50,327 seem to have played a Tommy Lee drum solo 26 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,895 all over your missus's facade. 27 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,637 - This-- I fell is all. - Hey, quiet now. 28 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:58,205 Sheriff's talking. 29 00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:01,599 Come here. Take comfort, dear. 30 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:04,080 Daughter, these hard times are over. 31 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,864 All right? 32 00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:07,736 I'll see to your husband's instruction myself. 33 00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:09,085 What 'struction? 34 00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,223 Now, be honest. 35 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,529 Do you ever question your man's supremacy 36 00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,183 when he speaks? 37 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,577 Just when he drinks or with the crank, you know? 38 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,361 I try to stay out of the way, but... 39 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:27,234 Don't hurt him. 40 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,540 - We got three boys who need a daddy. - Okay. 41 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:32,152 Okay. Okay. 42 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,770 Yeah. 43 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:44,251 Thank you. You got any of that huckleberry pie? 44 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,949 Sure. - That's great. 45 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:52,084 Lookit, dick cheese, I know you... 46 00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:53,521 Quiet. 47 00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:59,483 Go home. Fix a meal. 48 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,442 Pray on it before you take the first bite. 49 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:04,053 Forgiveness. Tend to his burns. 50 00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,098 Try to be deferential. 51 00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:08,666 Cater to his needs as a man with your mouth 52 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,407 in order to sow harmony. 53 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:13,671 I'll come by in the morning, see if the lesson stuck. 54 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,066 Go on. 55 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,328 Go. 56 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,212 They missed her. 57 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,929 What happened? 58 00:03:55,887 --> 00:04:00,196 You send a man to do a job without all the information, 59 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:03,678 how can the job be done? 60 00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,027 Yeah, what are you? 61 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,073 The Riddler? 62 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:12,121 You say the woman is a woman, a... 63 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,992 How do you...? 64 00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:16,647 Housewife. 65 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:22,697 Never do you mention she is, for real, a tiger. 66 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:25,700 You're saying you couldn't handle some girl? 67 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,789 100 pounds soaking wet? 68 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:30,705 Huh? 69 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:36,798 It was on the wire this morning. 70 00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:40,323 This half-wit shot up a filling station outside Beulah. 71 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,194 Murdered the clerk. 72 00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,371 Killed a state trooper. 73 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:45,850 Put a hole in the leg of another. 74 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,680 And this retard's partner with a cracked skull 75 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,247 and his face half burned off in the morgue. 76 00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:54,076 You say housewife, so I bring one guy. 77 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,513 You say tiger... 78 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,688 that's a different guy. 79 00:04:57,688 --> 00:05:00,125 Cost you three times. 80 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,824 Did they take her? The police? 81 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,826 Fled on foot. 82 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,219 Possibly home. 83 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,960 Possibly to the wind. 84 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,615 Could you find her? 85 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:14,357 She could be found. 86 00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:17,317 Where people go, the thoughts they have, 87 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,884 these are known to me. 88 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,103 Instincts. 89 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,453 Who flees, who fights. 90 00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:27,762 It's a question of price. 91 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:31,200 The job it was, not the job you said. 92 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,289 Pain and suffering. 93 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,813 A man, missing an appendage, 94 00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:38,207 self-sewing his own skin. 95 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,948 Scarred for life, he's told. 96 00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:43,473 And then this new ask. 97 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,127 Hunting a tiger. 98 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:48,086 And it forces the man to ask: 99 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,872 why you want the tiger? 100 00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,310 She's my wife. 101 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,616 Don't tell him shit. 102 00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,052 I already said I can handle this. 103 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,010 We know where she lives now. Her alias. 104 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,322 She made vows to me. 105 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,063 A pledge. 106 00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:11,240 In sickness and in health. 107 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,722 Consider it a debt unpaid, leaving me in limbo. 108 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,377 Husband yes or husband no. 109 00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,076 See, she hid from me nine, ten years. 110 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:25,472 Interest accrued. 111 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:28,562 Until the debt could no longer be paid with money. 112 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:36,091 Then, one day, there she is, fingerprints in the system. 113 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:38,267 Now the limbo can end, 114 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:41,226 the debt can be collected. 115 00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,448 Tell me something, friend. 116 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,496 If a man is pure, 117 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:52,281 his actions are only ever good. 118 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,327 You believe that? 119 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,941 I'm a nihilist. 120 00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,682 What the fuck does that mean? 121 00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,031 I believe in nothing. 122 00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,380 You believe in money. 123 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,949 Yeah? 124 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,436 Well, thanks for your help. 125 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,308 Go on with Gator. He'll get you paid. 126 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,614 Dad. 127 00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,920 Original plus pain and suffering. 128 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,835 Yeah, of course. 129 00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:27,229 Take it out of the rainy day fund. 130 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:32,582 Fixing place. Right. 131 00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,584 Come on, numbnuts. 132 00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:45,769 A man is grateful. 133 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:04,179 I'm not saying sorry, but you understand. 134 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,920 I had to rough you up a little back there. 135 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,010 You coming up snake eyes and all. 136 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:15,582 With her being such a tiny bird, which... 137 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,890 You know... 138 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:23,677 they used to be dinosaurs. 139 00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,509 Hundreds okay? 140 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,782 Surprise, shitbird. 141 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,502 - What's going on, Roy? - Go on, get back to the house now. 142 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:36,097 Like we said, this is all just a misunderstanding. 143 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,620 Had a bad day is all. 144 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,192 A bad day? 145 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,410 Yeah. 146 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,587 Left the house a mess. 147 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,720 Last I checked, weren't a crime. 148 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,069 No, ma'am. 149 00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:54,158 I'm a recidivist on that count myself. 150 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,464 Laundry especially. 151 00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,293 Oh, laundry. 152 00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:00,904 But what I'm concerned about is the blood. 153 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,950 Told you, I cut my feet up on some glass. 154 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,516 You did. 155 00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:07,389 And I see the wounds. 156 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,695 But what I'm dealing with is the fact 157 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,479 that the blood on your entry floor 158 00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,176 is different than the blood type we have on record for you. 159 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:13,569 Records? 160 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,745 Those... 161 00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:18,879 You know, I heard a man went into the hospital in St. Paul 162 00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,881 fer a kidney transplant, 163 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,578 he ended up with someone else's brain. 164 00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:25,102 - No way. - Yeah. 165 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,321 Well, I'm not sure... 166 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,802 That don't sound accurate. 167 00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:32,544 What I'm saying is, hospitals make mistakes. 168 00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:35,460 Then there's the hair DNA from the balaclava in your boudoir. 169 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,288 Told you, I bought that secondhand. 170 00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,730 You know, it's my fault. 171 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,298 You know, I came home, front door was wide open, uh, 172 00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,736 all the... blood. 173 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,956 Uh, I-I'm not ashamed to say I panicked. 174 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,566 But, you know, Dot's home, 175 00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,438 and, uh, that's all that matters. 176 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,745 So, uh, whatever the-- 177 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,573 You know, she's my wife. And I believe her. 178 00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:05,273 So, if there's a form or something I can sign to... 179 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:08,232 you know, drop the charges... 180 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,147 That's not how this works. 181 00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,805 - I got to... - Hmm? 182 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,938 It's almost time for pickup. 183 00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:22,159 I told Scotty we could go to DQ after school, so... 184 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,382 Well, okay, then. 185 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,949 Thanks for your time. 186 00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,690 Mm-hmm. 187 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,517 We're reviewing traffic cameras in the neighborhood, 188 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,475 so if I have any more questions... 189 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:34,955 No. 190 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:37,044 She's... 191 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,699 Wayne, she's not listening to me. 192 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,875 Uh, Danish Graves is our attorney, 193 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,877 so if you need to contact us again, 194 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:46,575 which you shouldn't, uh... 195 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,447 Okay, then. 196 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,244 So, it's a puzzler. 197 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,811 Spoke to Wayne. 198 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,638 Dot's back. 199 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,205 She's what now? 200 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,251 Yeah, came home on her own. 201 00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:12,209 A little bruised. 202 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,734 Bloody feet. 203 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,257 She escaped? 204 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,432 Well, that's the conundrum. 205 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,086 Says she wasn't taken. 206 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:22,176 Says it was just a driving around type scenario. 207 00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:23,612 Getting her head straight. 208 00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,570 Bullshit. 209 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:28,312 You saw the police report. 210 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,053 Something's fishy here. 211 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,229 Agreed. 212 00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,927 I smell a rat. 213 00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:36,190 You think... 214 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,582 Well, what do you think? 215 00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:40,890 A play, maybe. 216 00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,588 Extortion, but she got cold feet. 217 00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,242 Kidnapped herself, you're thinking? 218 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:48,550 I mean, what do we know about this girl, really? 219 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,074 Well, I did the background check when they got engaged. 220 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,946 Well, you said yourself, not much there. 221 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:54,382 Pretty thin, for sure. 222 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,905 Just the birth certificate, 223 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,689 a few school records, previous addresses. 224 00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,822 Well, it's too good to be true, now I'm thinking. 225 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,693 So, what do we...? 226 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:05,349 Tell you what we don't want-- police digging their noses 227 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,742 into other people's business. 228 00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,483 Asking questions that can't be answered. 229 00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,789 Then what? 230 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,618 Possibly this thing goes federal. 231 00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,664 You know, wrong person makes a phone call. 232 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,580 You don't think Wayne's... 233 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:21,061 Who knows what to think? 234 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,150 He's got the dealership, 235 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,022 a decent roof over their head, 236 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:31,071 but maybe she's pushing him for more. 237 00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:33,682 Putting ideas in his head. 238 00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:36,337 Eh... I don't know. 239 00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:39,601 So we separate 'em, like the cops. 240 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:42,299 You brace him. I go at her. 241 00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,388 Get to the bottom of things. 242 00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,912 If this deal's for real 243 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:48,610 and they got a notion to take what's mine, 244 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,960 we need to nip it in the bud. 245 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,570 Keep things in-house. 246 00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,964 Ah, geez. 247 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,575 Everything was going along just fine, too. 248 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:58,881 And now, what do you... 249 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:02,711 This... enemy within situation. 250 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:06,846 She made promises. To me. 251 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,499 My son. 252 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,198 To have and to hold. 253 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,765 For richer and poorer. 254 00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,334 And that's a debt we're gonna collect. 255 00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:39,574 ♪ Well, I get up at seven, yeah ♪ 256 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:43,317 ♪ And I go to work at nine ♪ 257 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,406 ♪ I got no time for livin'♪ 258 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:49,236 ♪ Yes, I'm working all the time ♪ 259 00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:50,585 ♪ It seems to me ♪ 260 00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,456 ♪ I could live my life ♪ 261 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:56,460 ♪ A lot better than I think I am ♪ 262 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:59,811 ♪ I guess that's why they call me ♪ 263 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:02,292 ♪ They call me the workin' man ♪ 264 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,908 ♪ They call me the workin' man ♪ 265 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,954 ♪ I guess that's what I am ♪ 266 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:17,917 ♪ They call me the workin' man ♪ 267 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,181 ♪ I guess that's what I am.♪ 268 00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,752 You gonna make it there, sunshine? 269 00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:31,887 Fucker got the drop on me. 270 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,239 Tell me her name again? 271 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:39,808 Uh, goes by Dorothy Lyon now. 272 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:41,897 Lives in a suburb outside the Twin Cities. 273 00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,377 Married, you said? 274 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,987 Going on ten years. 275 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:48,077 Husband owns a car dealership, some kind of... 276 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:50,079 uh, Korean model. 277 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,385 Koreans make cars? 278 00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,691 I guess. 279 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:55,041 Anyway, she's got a daughter 280 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,869 named Scotty. She's about nine. 281 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,706 GUARD [on radio]: Roy, we got FBI here. 282 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:14,756 Let's send 'em up. 283 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,324 What do you want me to...? 284 00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:18,499 Ah, don't worry about it. 285 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,335 Hard day at the office. 286 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:31,033 Like the sign says, he's a hard man for hard times. 287 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,340 And by "he" I mean me. 288 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,913 Agent "Ja-Queen." 289 00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,177 It's Joaquin. 290 00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:45,656 This is Agent Meyer. 291 00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,093 We're new in the Fargo office. 292 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,572 We thought we'd come by, 293 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,748 see why you aren't enforcing any of our laws. 294 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,359 What laws? 295 00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,100 Oh, you know, gun laws, drug laws. 296 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,754 Any of the half-dozen other American laws 297 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,887 passed and ratified by the United States government 298 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:01,411 that you don't seem to recognize. 299 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,413 Well, Agent Ja-Queen, I think you'll find 300 00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,459 that there is no one on God's green earth 301 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,938 who is a greater enforcer of the laws of this land 302 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,418 than Roy Tillman. 303 00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,507 Why do I feel like there's a "but" here? 304 00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,639 But... 305 00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:17,601 ...what you need to know is that I am the law of the land. 306 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:20,387 Elected by the residents of this county 307 00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,519 to interpret and enforce the Constitution 308 00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:26,001 given unto us by Almighty God. 309 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,829 Mm-hmm. 310 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,787 Freedom. 311 00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,311 Amen. 312 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,617 You know, I hear that word a lot out here. 313 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:35,228 I'm curious... 314 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,056 what you think it means. 315 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,796 Agent, if you don't know what freedom is, 316 00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:40,102 I don't think me saying the words out loud 317 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,886 is gonna teach you. 318 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,630 Why don't you go and do your chores? 319 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,772 Seriously? 320 00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:00,818 Do you want a towel, or...? 321 00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,820 Does my discussing matters of state 322 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,171 in moist repose bother you? 323 00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,356 Jesus. 324 00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,499 Now, what is it you wanted to discuss? 325 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,501 Well, like I said, we're new in town. 326 00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:34,069 We thought we'd come open a collegial dialogue. 327 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,115 Maybe let you know we're looking into the practices 328 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,682 - of your office. - Very unorthodox practices. 329 00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:40,597 Possibly illegal. 330 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:44,166 Illegal according to who? 331 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,385 Maybe you weren't paying attention, 332 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:46,908 but I am the law around here. 333 00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:48,953 So you said. 334 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,695 Removable only by the governor or my constituents, 335 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,306 who love me, by the way, 336 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:56,178 because I say what I want and I do as I please. 337 00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,006 And I know the difference between right and wrong. 338 00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,008 Don't you mean legal and illegal? 339 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,491 Well... 340 00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,928 did you know that in North Dakota it is illegal 341 00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,277 for a charitable group to hold 342 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:11,498 more than two poker games a year? 343 00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:14,283 And similarly, it is illegal 344 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,633 to keep an elk in a sandbox in your own backyard. 345 00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:18,940 I shit you not. 346 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,594 Now, if you were to own a tavern 347 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,509 and serve beer and pretzels at the same time, 348 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:23,510 I could arrest you. 349 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,077 And in Waverly... 350 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:31,213 the law forbids horses from sleeping in bathtubs. 351 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,563 You beginning to get the drift here? 352 00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,567 I'm a sheriff of the American Constitution. 353 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:40,657 Bound by duty, blood, and tradition 354 00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:44,095 to enforce what is right and to prosecute what is wrong. 355 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:46,185 And the law, my friends... 356 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,057 ...has very little to do with it. 357 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:55,106 So, Ja-Queen, Mrs. Ja-Queen, 358 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:57,152 if you'll excuse me, 359 00:19:57,152 --> 00:19:58,980 I have some justice to administer. 360 00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,070 You can see yourself out. 361 00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:24,832 What do you say next time we get an extra Blizzard 362 00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:27,487 and hold it upside down to see how long it takes 363 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,228 for the stuffing to come out, huh? 364 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,186 - Yeah. - Yeah. 365 00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:33,754 Your tea selection is atrocious. 366 00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,756 How did you get in here? 367 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,240 Hey, Nana. 368 00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:45,113 Are you wearing lipstick? 369 00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:47,071 That's ketchup. We had curly fries. 370 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,469 Like I said, how come you're in my home? 371 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,471 Of course I have a key. 372 00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:57,952 It's my son's house. 373 00:20:57,952 --> 00:21:01,390 Still, sorry if-if we startled you. 374 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,131 Imagine intruders breaking into your house 375 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:05,699 twice in one week. 376 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,831 Oh, wait. 377 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:11,226 That didn't happen. 378 00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:14,403 What do you want? 379 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:19,887 Jerome, could you see my granddaughter to her room? 380 00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:22,368 Maybe she wants to show you her dolls. 381 00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:25,849 I don't have dolls, Nana. I like ninjas. 382 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,590 Is that some kind of cat? 383 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:28,939 You're silly. 384 00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:31,464 Come on, young Skywalker. 385 00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:35,511 I'll show you how a true samurai fights, hmm? 386 00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:38,514 Whoa. 387 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:47,871 Well, I guess with you when it rains it pours. 388 00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:49,656 That... 389 00:21:51,832 --> 00:21:55,749 I mean, this is all just a bunch of silliness. 390 00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:59,361 Honestly, I'm embarrassed by all the fuss. 391 00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,276 Signs of a break-in, I'm told. 392 00:22:01,276 --> 00:22:04,758 Evidence you fought back, which good for you. 393 00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:06,760 I'd have skinned 'em where they stood. 394 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,718 Please. 395 00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:10,503 More like Mama had a tantrum 396 00:22:10,503 --> 00:22:12,940 and it all got blowed out of proportion. 397 00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:16,378 Honestly, like a snowball rolling downhill. 398 00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:19,816 Well, either you got a screw loose, 399 00:22:19,816 --> 00:22:23,559 or somebody came for you and you got away... 400 00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:25,169 and now you're lying about it. 401 00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,997 Mom. 402 00:22:26,997 --> 00:22:29,217 No. 403 00:22:29,217 --> 00:22:31,175 I'm not your mom. 404 00:22:31,175 --> 00:22:34,875 You're married to my son, mother to my granddaughter. 405 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:37,268 I wanted a girl with papers, 406 00:22:37,268 --> 00:22:39,880 but my Wayne always liked a sassy thing 407 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,361 with a tight caboose, so here you are. 408 00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:49,280 Haven't you ever had one of those days? 409 00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:55,025 So what if I do got a screw loose? 410 00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:57,680 Stress and the like. 411 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,640 I'm holding up my end of the deal. 412 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,424 We're man and wife, 413 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,513 him and me, 414 00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:05,906 and he loves me. 415 00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:08,517 There are ways we could change that. 416 00:23:08,517 --> 00:23:10,345 The holy bond. 417 00:23:10,345 --> 00:23:12,652 Revocation of the trust. 418 00:23:12,652 --> 00:23:14,175 And cut you both out of the will, 419 00:23:14,175 --> 00:23:15,698 see if that moves the marker. 420 00:23:15,698 --> 00:23:16,960 What are you saying? 421 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,398 I'm saying I don't trust you. 422 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,008 You're up to something. 423 00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:23,924 And I won't have you dragging my son down. 424 00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:25,578 So... 425 00:23:25,578 --> 00:23:27,275 best you make excuses, 426 00:23:27,275 --> 00:23:31,714 you go back to wherever it is you were before you met. 427 00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:36,502 If you go easy, I could even see my way to... 428 00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:41,420 staking you for the first... two years. 429 00:23:43,291 --> 00:23:44,814 Listen, bitch. 430 00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:50,516 I've climbed through six kinds of hell to get where I am. 431 00:23:50,516 --> 00:23:53,432 And no Ivy League royal wannabe is gonna run me off 432 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,434 just because she doesn't like the way I smell. 433 00:23:57,610 --> 00:24:00,613 If you want to tussle with me... 434 00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:04,878 ...you better sleep with both eyes open. 435 00:24:04,878 --> 00:24:09,883 Because nobody takes what's mine and lives. 436 00:24:16,019 --> 00:24:18,152 Anyhoo... 437 00:24:18,152 --> 00:24:20,110 thanks for stopping by. 438 00:24:21,024 --> 00:24:22,461 Dinner Sunday? 439 00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:25,986 I'll bring my blue salad. 440 00:24:27,074 --> 00:24:29,206 Jerome. 441 00:24:29,206 --> 00:24:31,121 We're leaving. 442 00:24:34,690 --> 00:24:36,997 Always nice to see you, dear. 443 00:24:39,042 --> 00:24:43,003 Maybe think about getting some iron into your diet. 444 00:24:43,003 --> 00:24:45,135 You look like a corpse. 445 00:25:28,962 --> 00:25:30,137 Mom? 446 00:25:30,137 --> 00:25:31,921 Ooh. 447 00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:36,622 I'm hungry. 448 00:25:36,622 --> 00:25:38,449 What? 449 00:25:38,449 --> 00:25:40,277 You just had DQ. 450 00:25:40,277 --> 00:25:42,236 It didn't take. 451 00:25:42,236 --> 00:25:45,065 Oh. What's going on down there? 452 00:25:45,065 --> 00:25:46,675 A wedgie. 453 00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:53,116 Tell you what. 454 00:25:53,116 --> 00:25:55,945 How about we make a vegetable medley 455 00:25:55,945 --> 00:25:59,688 with carrot sticks and the bell peppers you like? 456 00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:02,735 And then you can help Mom do some kind of craft project. 457 00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:04,475 What kind of craft project? 458 00:26:04,475 --> 00:26:07,827 You're gonna have to go downstairs to find out. 459 00:26:08,915 --> 00:26:10,873 Come on. 460 00:26:22,798 --> 00:26:25,192 Ah! Bye-bye. 461 00:26:25,192 --> 00:26:27,716 Nice done. 462 00:26:32,547 --> 00:26:34,114 Awesome. 463 00:26:44,646 --> 00:26:46,735 - Ooh. - ♪ Did you ever have ♪ 464 00:26:46,735 --> 00:26:49,738 ♪ That feeling in your life ♪ 465 00:26:49,738 --> 00:26:54,308 ♪ That someone was watching you?♪ 466 00:26:55,875 --> 00:27:00,053 ♪ He don't have no reason, that's right ♪ 467 00:27:01,532 --> 00:27:05,101 ♪ But still he's there watching you ♪ 468 00:27:06,929 --> 00:27:10,890 ♪ Someone is waiting just outside the door ♪ 469 00:27:10,890 --> 00:27:15,764 ♪ To take you away ♪ 470 00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:22,684 ♪ Everybody knows just what he's there for ♪ 471 00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:26,949 ♪ To take you away ♪ 472 00:27:26,949 --> 00:27:28,777 You ready? Yeah. 473 00:27:28,777 --> 00:27:30,736 ♪ But who wasn't there ♪ 474 00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:32,912 ♪ That you should look out for?♪ 475 00:27:32,912 --> 00:27:34,870 - Whoa. - ♪ Who wasn't there that you should look out for?♪ 476 00:27:34,870 --> 00:27:38,744 ♪ Get back inside your wall and shut the door ♪ 477 00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:40,702 ♪ Get back inside your wall and shut the ♪ 478 00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:46,839 ♪ Door...♪ 479 00:27:55,282 --> 00:27:57,327 Keep your hands off the ball chain, huh? 480 00:27:57,327 --> 00:28:00,504 Mama doesn't want you getting smooshed like a bug. 481 00:28:01,636 --> 00:28:04,204 Can we do my room next? 482 00:28:04,204 --> 00:28:06,293 Oh, yeah. 483 00:28:06,293 --> 00:28:07,903 Let's go. 484 00:28:07,903 --> 00:28:09,600 Race you. 485 00:28:14,388 --> 00:28:19,088 WOMAN [over P.A.]: Don't forget our special 30% off winter deal on... 486 00:28:19,088 --> 00:28:22,309 Great deal, heck of a deal. 487 00:28:22,309 --> 00:28:25,747 Oh, sure, yeah, I got those VIN numbers right here. 488 00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,491 Actually, Phil, I'll have to call you back. 489 00:28:30,491 --> 00:28:33,015 All right. 490 00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:35,191 Finally saw the light on that Porsche, did you? 491 00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:38,934 What are you, uh...? 492 00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:41,589 - What are you...? - I got some business to discuss, Wayne. 493 00:28:41,589 --> 00:28:42,851 Ah. 494 00:28:43,896 --> 00:28:45,985 Is he on? 495 00:28:45,985 --> 00:28:47,595 Mom? 496 00:28:47,595 --> 00:28:49,466 Got a problem here, kid. Need your help with it. 497 00:28:49,466 --> 00:28:50,641 Of course, yeah. 498 00:28:50,641 --> 00:28:52,339 Is it that landscaper again? 499 00:28:52,339 --> 00:28:54,297 No, it's not the landscaper, moron. 500 00:28:54,297 --> 00:28:56,386 It's your wife. 501 00:28:56,386 --> 00:28:58,693 Now hold on. That's, uh... 502 00:28:58,693 --> 00:29:01,087 This whole kidnapping that ain't a kidnapping thing, 503 00:29:01,087 --> 00:29:03,089 well, there's something fishy about that. 504 00:29:03,089 --> 00:29:05,352 Full low tide, if you ask me. 505 00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:06,657 Like the dog's breath. 506 00:29:06,657 --> 00:29:08,529 Now, we talked about this, uh... 507 00:29:08,529 --> 00:29:10,139 She had a bad day. 508 00:29:10,139 --> 00:29:11,401 Son. 509 00:29:11,401 --> 00:29:12,968 I talked to the police. 510 00:29:12,968 --> 00:29:15,231 They got hard evidence your wife was abducted. 511 00:29:15,231 --> 00:29:17,146 Not to mention, 512 00:29:17,146 --> 00:29:19,148 I just learned they think they got one of the guys 513 00:29:19,148 --> 00:29:21,890 on a slab over in North Dakota. 514 00:29:21,890 --> 00:29:24,545 Broke his skull in the commode of a filling station. 515 00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:28,549 - G-Geez. - Yeah, officer on the scene said 516 00:29:28,549 --> 00:29:31,247 there was a female present who matches Dot. 517 00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:35,599 Get your head out of your ass, kid. 518 00:29:35,599 --> 00:29:37,906 She's making a play here, your missus. 519 00:29:37,906 --> 00:29:39,429 In cahoots with the kidnappers maybe, 520 00:29:39,429 --> 00:29:43,129 or maybe just seizing the opportunity. 521 00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:44,565 I'm not sure what or why. 522 00:29:44,565 --> 00:29:45,740 But any way you tell the story, 523 00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:47,698 it ends with me writing a check. 524 00:29:47,698 --> 00:29:51,093 Oh, come on now, Ma, n-not everything's about money. 525 00:29:52,225 --> 00:29:53,269 Slap him. 526 00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:56,403 I'm... sorry? 527 00:29:56,403 --> 00:29:57,534 You heard me. 528 00:29:57,534 --> 00:29:59,101 My son needs a slap 529 00:29:59,101 --> 00:30:00,581 and I'm not there to give it to him. 530 00:30:00,581 --> 00:30:01,930 So, as my attorney, I authorize you 531 00:30:01,930 --> 00:30:04,237 to knock his fucking block off. 532 00:30:08,850 --> 00:30:10,373 No. 533 00:30:12,245 --> 00:30:13,159 No, no, no, no, no, no. 534 00:30:13,159 --> 00:30:14,725 Wait a minute-- Aah! 535 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,859 Ow. 536 00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:19,426 Listen to me, boy. 537 00:30:19,426 --> 00:30:21,341 You're back at the kiddie table on this one. 538 00:30:21,341 --> 00:30:23,169 That's official. 539 00:30:23,169 --> 00:30:26,389 Now shut your hole and listen to me talk. 540 00:30:34,658 --> 00:30:35,877 Trooper? 541 00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:37,792 Saved. 542 00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:39,794 From what? 543 00:30:39,794 --> 00:30:41,796 Concord grape, I think. 544 00:30:41,796 --> 00:30:44,016 Hmm. 545 00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:46,845 How... may I help you? 546 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,455 Sure, well, I'm, uh, Deputy Olmstead, 547 00:30:48,455 --> 00:30:50,239 Scandia Police Department over in Minnesota. 548 00:30:50,239 --> 00:30:51,719 I wanted to ask you some questions 549 00:30:51,719 --> 00:30:53,068 about events that transpired last night. 550 00:30:53,068 --> 00:30:54,896 You and everybody else. 551 00:30:54,896 --> 00:30:56,985 Well, sir, I think I might have a piece of your puzzle. 552 00:30:56,985 --> 00:30:59,814 To wit, the identity of the missing female you assisted. 553 00:30:59,814 --> 00:31:03,209 If I'm right, which I think I am. 554 00:31:03,209 --> 00:31:05,341 Color me intrigued. 555 00:31:05,341 --> 00:31:07,735 Taken from her home yesterday afternoon by two men, we think. 556 00:31:07,735 --> 00:31:09,519 We found blood from one. 557 00:31:09,519 --> 00:31:12,087 Looks like she burned the other fella's face pretty bad. 558 00:31:12,087 --> 00:31:13,697 Sounds like my girl. 559 00:31:13,697 --> 00:31:15,221 Rambo, basically. 560 00:31:15,221 --> 00:31:19,399 Or, uh, the other fella from the TV, uh... 561 00:31:19,399 --> 00:31:21,749 - MacGyver. - Well, I got a picture. 562 00:31:21,749 --> 00:31:22,881 Mm. 563 00:31:24,186 --> 00:31:25,318 What do you know? 564 00:31:26,493 --> 00:31:28,277 It's a party. 565 00:31:28,277 --> 00:31:30,845 Indira Olmstead, Scandia Police Department. 566 00:31:30,845 --> 00:31:33,195 Ah. City girl. 567 00:31:33,195 --> 00:31:35,197 Well, we prefer "women" these days. 568 00:31:35,197 --> 00:31:37,156 But the rest is accurate. 569 00:31:37,156 --> 00:31:38,592 How can we help you, stranger? 570 00:31:38,592 --> 00:31:42,335 Sheriff's Deputy, Stark County. 571 00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:44,990 Sounds like you had a mix-up in my neck of the woods last night, 572 00:31:44,990 --> 00:31:48,036 which we run a pretty tight ship, so... 573 00:31:48,036 --> 00:31:49,995 I take it personal when bad men appear. 574 00:31:49,995 --> 00:31:52,258 This job will grind you down, you take it too personal. 575 00:31:52,258 --> 00:31:55,914 What can I say? I like being on the right side of a gunfight. 576 00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:57,916 Heard you say you had a picture of the perps? 577 00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,831 Uh, victim. Female. Right. 578 00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:04,574 Saw something about, uh, a woman got taken. 579 00:32:04,574 --> 00:32:06,925 Or escaped or something? 580 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:09,318 We think these fellas grabbed her up in Minnesota. 581 00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:12,060 Taking her to points west when the trooper pulled them over. 582 00:32:12,060 --> 00:32:14,628 She killed one, the recidivist Donald Ireland, 583 00:32:14,628 --> 00:32:17,761 I think they said. The other one got away. 584 00:32:17,761 --> 00:32:21,069 Sounds like a real Comanche, this female you're hunting. 585 00:32:21,069 --> 00:32:24,899 Like I said, I got a photo. Excuse me. 586 00:32:24,899 --> 00:32:27,989 So, what, she some kind of criminal, also? 587 00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:29,556 Not exactly. 588 00:32:29,556 --> 00:32:31,862 Had a mix-up at her daughter's school this week. 589 00:32:31,862 --> 00:32:33,299 Tased an officer by accident. 590 00:32:33,299 --> 00:32:34,735 How's that happen? 591 00:32:34,735 --> 00:32:36,215 Heat of the moment, I'm guessing. 592 00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:37,520 Used to be a saying: 593 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,393 "Minnesota nice." But I was there. 594 00:32:40,393 --> 00:32:42,656 Nothing nice about Minnesota that day. 595 00:32:42,656 --> 00:32:44,658 Oops. What'd I do? 596 00:32:44,658 --> 00:32:47,182 - What did you...? - I must've, I don't know, I pressed something. 597 00:32:47,182 --> 00:32:50,316 Darn it, you deleted the victim, her photo. 598 00:32:50,316 --> 00:32:53,188 Yeah, me and technology don't see eye to eye. 599 00:32:53,188 --> 00:32:54,537 Especially now. 600 00:32:54,537 --> 00:32:57,018 This wrist-breaker... ah. 601 00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:59,238 No, it-it's my fault. 602 00:32:59,238 --> 00:33:01,414 I'm not sure what I was thinking just bringing the one. 603 00:33:01,414 --> 00:33:04,025 Well, I sure hope you find her. 604 00:33:04,025 --> 00:33:06,375 If it was her, saved my life, I think. 605 00:33:06,375 --> 00:33:09,074 Oh, no, she's home. A little worse for wear 606 00:33:09,074 --> 00:33:10,379 but intact. 607 00:33:10,379 --> 00:33:11,598 Strangest thing, though. 608 00:33:11,598 --> 00:33:13,295 Despite all evidence, 609 00:33:13,295 --> 00:33:15,210 she's claiming it never happened. 610 00:33:15,210 --> 00:33:17,299 Never... what now? 611 00:33:17,299 --> 00:33:18,866 Says nobody broke in. 612 00:33:18,866 --> 00:33:20,520 Says she wasn't taken. 613 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,087 Just went for a wander for ten hours 614 00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:24,263 and then came home and cooked breakfast. 615 00:33:24,263 --> 00:33:26,134 Cry for attention, sounds like. 616 00:33:26,134 --> 00:33:29,572 Drama queen trying to make her husband sick. 617 00:33:29,572 --> 00:33:31,226 Who said she has a husband? 618 00:33:31,226 --> 00:33:32,880 No, I mean, I'm assuming. 619 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,926 Description said 30s in the police report, so... 620 00:33:35,926 --> 00:33:37,624 Well, all I know is, the woman I met broke loose 621 00:33:37,624 --> 00:33:40,192 like somebody who knows how small the cage can get. 622 00:33:41,671 --> 00:33:43,369 Wish you had that picture. 623 00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:45,371 Like to meet that woman again, thank her. 624 00:33:45,371 --> 00:33:47,373 For what? Far as I can tell, 625 00:33:47,373 --> 00:33:49,375 she's the one got you shot in the first place. 626 00:33:49,375 --> 00:33:51,420 Oh, the job got me shot. 627 00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:53,509 She was just... 628 00:33:53,509 --> 00:33:55,685 trying to get free. 629 00:33:55,685 --> 00:33:57,339 But you know what they say. 630 00:33:57,339 --> 00:33:58,558 Protect and serve. 631 00:34:00,212 --> 00:34:03,084 Yeah, I'm down with "protect," but... 632 00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:04,738 I ain't in the service industry. 633 00:34:04,738 --> 00:34:08,611 I'm in the kicking ass and taking names business. 634 00:34:17,446 --> 00:34:19,057 You two have a nice day. 635 00:34:38,859 --> 00:34:41,079 Consider that bitch flummoxed. 636 00:35:13,981 --> 00:35:15,374 What the heck? 637 00:35:15,374 --> 00:35:17,202 Hiya, hon. 638 00:35:20,683 --> 00:35:22,032 What the heck? 639 00:35:22,032 --> 00:35:23,730 Made some shepherd's pie. 640 00:35:29,649 --> 00:35:31,216 Scotty. 641 00:35:32,260 --> 00:35:33,609 What you doing there? 642 00:35:33,609 --> 00:35:35,655 For security. Mom said. 643 00:35:35,655 --> 00:35:37,396 Yeah. Oh. 644 00:35:37,396 --> 00:35:38,440 Hon... 645 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,226 Yeah? 646 00:35:41,226 --> 00:35:43,793 Why is there a sledgehammer over the front door? 647 00:35:43,793 --> 00:35:46,405 Well, we talked about an alarm system, 648 00:35:46,405 --> 00:35:49,930 but you said we couldn't afford a good one, so we... 649 00:35:49,930 --> 00:35:51,714 Well, what the heck is...? 650 00:35:51,714 --> 00:35:53,325 Oh, no, hon, I wouldn't touch that. It's electrified. 651 00:35:53,325 --> 00:35:54,761 It's what? 652 00:35:54,761 --> 00:35:56,719 It's plugged into the wall. 653 00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:58,591 Anyone tries to bust in, 654 00:35:58,591 --> 00:36:00,636 well, they'll get a righteous shock. 655 00:36:06,381 --> 00:36:09,036 Hon, c-can we talk? I... 656 00:36:09,036 --> 00:36:12,300 Wait, how, I'm just gonna... 657 00:36:12,300 --> 00:36:13,910 How about you go upstairs and, uh, 658 00:36:13,910 --> 00:36:16,696 watch some cartoons on your Samsung? 659 00:36:16,696 --> 00:36:19,002 Yeah? 660 00:36:21,701 --> 00:36:24,573 - Yeah. - Let me get my apron off at least. 661 00:36:28,534 --> 00:36:30,536 Uh, Mom came by the lot today. 662 00:36:30,536 --> 00:36:33,452 Er, well, her man did. 663 00:36:33,452 --> 00:36:34,888 Uh, she called in. 664 00:36:34,888 --> 00:36:36,716 Yeah, she... 665 00:36:36,716 --> 00:36:38,500 I saw her, too. 666 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:39,980 But don't worry. 667 00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:42,069 I think we came to an understanding. 668 00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:43,679 She said that, or...? 669 00:36:43,679 --> 00:36:45,681 - No. - Oh. 670 00:36:45,681 --> 00:36:49,032 But women understand each other. 671 00:36:49,032 --> 00:36:52,122 Well, hon, I don't think you do... 672 00:36:52,122 --> 00:36:55,213 u-understand each other. 673 00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:57,737 She... She's litigating against you, see. 674 00:36:57,737 --> 00:37:00,479 She, uh... 675 00:37:00,479 --> 00:37:02,785 Well, she thinks you made this whole thing up. 676 00:37:02,785 --> 00:37:06,746 I... I mean, the whole thing sounds... loony. 677 00:37:06,746 --> 00:37:10,445 But she-she thinks you're some kind of con woman. 678 00:37:10,445 --> 00:37:13,187 Uh, playing us for our money. 679 00:37:13,187 --> 00:37:14,971 Uh, in league with the kidnappers. 680 00:37:14,971 --> 00:37:16,495 I just... 681 00:37:16,495 --> 00:37:20,281 Told you, there were no kidnappers, just... 682 00:37:20,281 --> 00:37:21,804 Drove around to-to clear your head. 683 00:37:21,804 --> 00:37:23,850 But-but, hon, the-the... 684 00:37:23,850 --> 00:37:25,765 The-the car was here the whole time. 685 00:37:25,765 --> 00:37:27,070 Walking, I said, or I-I... 686 00:37:27,070 --> 00:37:28,550 Listen, I believe you. 687 00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:31,292 I'm not the one you got to... I just... 688 00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:33,033 And she said she can get the cops out of the equation. 689 00:37:33,033 --> 00:37:36,689 You know, her friend the attorney general, but, hon... 690 00:37:36,689 --> 00:37:39,082 You know, from-from where she's sitting the-the whole thing 691 00:37:39,082 --> 00:37:40,780 don't make a lot of sense. 692 00:37:44,610 --> 00:37:47,047 But it makes sense to us. 693 00:37:48,048 --> 00:37:49,832 That's what matters, right? 694 00:37:49,832 --> 00:37:53,140 Yeah, maybe. 695 00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:57,753 But, hon... wh-why-why is there a, a-a sledgehammer 696 00:37:57,753 --> 00:37:59,451 in the vestibule? 697 00:37:59,451 --> 00:38:02,280 A-And how come Scotty's making a zombie killer? 698 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,195 Well, like she said. Security. 699 00:38:05,195 --> 00:38:06,414 From what? 700 00:38:06,414 --> 00:38:07,850 Hon... 701 00:38:07,850 --> 00:38:09,591 No, I-I'm just trying to, you know... 702 00:38:09,591 --> 00:38:13,421 No. You can't. You-you weren't there. 703 00:38:13,421 --> 00:38:14,944 At the school board. 704 00:38:15,945 --> 00:38:19,035 Neighbor against neighbor. 705 00:38:19,035 --> 00:38:20,602 Society's breaking down here. 706 00:38:20,602 --> 00:38:22,300 The social structure. 707 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:25,259 What side you're on, whether you're for or against, 708 00:38:25,259 --> 00:38:28,871 I-I'm just saying... 709 00:38:30,090 --> 00:38:31,657 We need to wake up here. 710 00:38:31,657 --> 00:38:34,137 Protect ourselves, in case... 711 00:38:34,137 --> 00:38:35,922 In case what? 712 00:38:35,922 --> 00:38:38,272 In case... 713 00:38:38,272 --> 00:38:40,970 ruffians at the door. 714 00:38:40,970 --> 00:38:44,147 Or Mr. Abernathy decides he wants revenge. 715 00:38:44,147 --> 00:38:46,019 Or a thousand other maybes. 716 00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:47,673 Uh, who? 717 00:38:47,673 --> 00:38:49,109 Scotty's math teacher. 718 00:38:49,109 --> 00:38:50,415 The fella I tased before the cop. 719 00:38:50,415 --> 00:38:51,938 Y-You tased the math teacher? 720 00:38:51,938 --> 00:38:53,679 Well... 721 00:38:53,679 --> 00:38:55,550 I got a bad feeling, hon. 722 00:38:55,550 --> 00:38:57,552 - Yeah. - People do. 723 00:38:57,552 --> 00:38:59,293 It's not just me. 724 00:38:59,293 --> 00:39:01,861 And I'm, I-I'm not saying that we should build a bunker. 725 00:39:01,861 --> 00:39:05,038 Or stockpile long guns. 726 00:39:05,038 --> 00:39:06,605 A few common sense... 727 00:39:06,605 --> 00:39:09,738 Hon, y-y-y-you got electric wire on the windows. 728 00:39:09,738 --> 00:39:11,174 A few practical solutions. 729 00:39:11,174 --> 00:39:13,046 Unless you're ready to step up 730 00:39:13,046 --> 00:39:16,963 and go state of the art, really sink some capital into it. 731 00:39:16,963 --> 00:39:20,314 I-I... Should we, I don't know, sh-sh-sh-should we get a gun? 732 00:39:20,314 --> 00:39:24,100 See? Oh. Now you're thinking. 733 00:39:24,100 --> 00:39:26,799 A gun is a great idea. We should get a shotgun. 734 00:39:26,799 --> 00:39:28,583 - Oh. - And maybe a pistol for the bedroom. 735 00:39:28,583 --> 00:39:31,238 - Ah. - And maybe we could replace my Taser, too. 736 00:39:31,238 --> 00:39:33,980 And, I don't know, maybe some kind of net. 737 00:39:33,980 --> 00:39:36,374 - Just in case they, uh... - A net? 738 00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:37,375 - Huh? - Huh? 739 00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:38,767 All I'm saying is-is, 740 00:39:38,767 --> 00:39:40,900 now we're speaking the same language. 741 00:39:44,164 --> 00:39:45,687 Oh, you're such a gentle guy. 742 00:39:45,687 --> 00:39:47,036 - Yeah. - Yeah. 743 00:39:47,036 --> 00:39:49,387 I know how hard this is. 744 00:39:50,518 --> 00:39:52,390 I-I just want to play floor hockey 745 00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:55,697 in my socks with Scotty again and watch Real Housewives. 746 00:39:55,697 --> 00:39:57,177 I know. 747 00:39:58,308 --> 00:40:00,746 And we can and we will. 748 00:40:00,746 --> 00:40:05,054 Hey. We just got to take care of a few things first. 749 00:40:11,365 --> 00:40:14,020 All I ever wanted was... 750 00:40:15,064 --> 00:40:17,806 Y-You're my dream come true. 751 00:40:21,549 --> 00:40:23,986 And you're mine. 752 00:40:30,384 --> 00:40:32,560 Come on, mister. 753 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,780 Before your daughter's brain turns to sludge. 754 00:40:34,780 --> 00:40:36,782 Yeah. 755 00:40:36,782 --> 00:40:38,479 Hey, Scotty. 756 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:42,831 Let's eat! 757 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:49,359 ♪ Boys and girls of every age ♪ 758 00:40:49,359 --> 00:40:52,058 ♪ Wouldn't you like to see something strange?♪ 759 00:40:52,058 --> 00:40:54,713 ♪ Come with us and you will see ♪ 760 00:40:54,713 --> 00:40:57,977 ♪ This, our town of Halloween ♪ 761 00:40:57,977 --> 00:41:00,806 ♪ This is Halloween, this is Halloween ♪ 762 00:41:00,806 --> 00:41:02,329 ♪ Pumpkins scream in the dead of night ♪ 763 00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:04,113 Pull in here. I got to take a piss. 764 00:41:04,113 --> 00:41:06,594 ♪ This is Halloween, everybody make a scene ♪ 765 00:41:06,594 --> 00:41:09,423 ♪ Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright ♪ 766 00:41:09,423 --> 00:41:12,382 ♪ It's our town, everybody scream ♪ 767 00:41:12,382 --> 00:41:14,559 ♪ In this town of Halloween ♪ 768 00:41:14,559 --> 00:41:17,126 ♪ I am the one hiding under your bed ♪ 769 00:41:17,126 --> 00:41:20,216 ♪ Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red ♪ 770 00:41:20,216 --> 00:41:22,915 ♪ I am the one hiding under your stairs ♪ 771 00:41:22,915 --> 00:41:25,700 ♪ Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair ♪ 772 00:41:25,700 --> 00:41:28,834 ♪ This is Halloween, this is Halloween ♪ 773 00:41:28,834 --> 00:41:32,838 ♪ Halloween, Halloween Halloween, Halloween.♪ 774 00:41:36,581 --> 00:41:38,931 - Want a pop? - No, I'm fine. 775 00:41:45,633 --> 00:41:47,417 Whoa. 776 00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:49,305 I got us some jerky. 777 00:42:51,438 --> 00:42:52,874 Spicy kind. 778 00:42:52,874 --> 00:42:55,355 You better keep those windows down. 779 00:43:13,286 --> 00:43:14,809 Fuck, that's hot. 780 00:43:30,999 --> 00:43:33,654 Where is this guy? 781 00:43:39,704 --> 00:43:41,270 Oh, my God. 782 00:43:42,228 --> 00:43:43,925 Oh, my God. 783 00:44:03,423 --> 00:44:04,859 Oh, shit. 784 00:44:08,428 --> 00:44:10,082 Oh, shit. 785 00:46:45,541 --> 00:46:47,456 Now I get it.